Happy Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day!

This time last year was the first Valentine's Day in a long time that I was content with being single. Seeing love in the air and flaunted around me didn't make me depressed or sad like back in high school where moms came home and found me in the dark listening to "I am ready for love" by India Arie. I can laugh now at that, but back then I really wanted to love someone and feel love. I still do, but have the better judgement to wait for someone who is worth it rather than the next guy that comes my way.


So, how as a single woman for the last 5 years have I refrained from becoming bitter on this day? I remember that love is not limited to a relationship. This day is not just a day for non-platonic lovers, but one for everyone to show how much they love the people in their life. A celebration of love.


It is easier said than done, but over the years I can now look at a couple on this day kiss, and smile. Knowing that even if it is just this day, there are people who are being loved.


The only thing that unnerves me is that there are people who limit their love to just this day as if love only needs to be displayed once a year. Love is to be done, shown, and acted upon every single day.


Happy Valentine's Day to all the lovers and all of the single women and men in the world. Know that someone loves you and never stop believing that love exists. Sometimes you have to create it for yourself the type of love that you seek to find. Start with yourself today and every day forth to cultivate love for yourself and you will begin to attract the love of others around you.


At the end of the day, I won't lie that Valentine's Day has just become another day on the calendar. After 5 years, it's just Monday, February 14, 2011.


xoxo

You are WHAT??? Getting Married??

Yesterday, I received a phone call from a old friend whom I haven't spoken with in months. After about 5 minutes of the usual "How have you been?" and "What have you been up to?" he informs me that he is getting married. I was slightly stunned. I am fairly young and he is only three years older than I, but I was interested in knowing how did he know she was the one and all the specifics.


So, I asked the major question I would ask any of my friends, "Are you ready?"


Marriage is a big commitment and it is one that should not be taken lightly. I do not believe in divorce. In our day and age, divorce may be common practice as the plan B if this marriage thing doesn't work out or you ate my last piece of pie (I kid), but that doesn't mean it's right. If divorce was not an option, I think people would really sit down and thing long about whether or not they are ready to spend the rest of their life with this one person, with their baggage, with their financial health, with everything. You don't just take on a person, you take on everything that comes with that person. What was once just yours in no longer yours, but ours.


He answered, "I am as ready as I'll ever be."


Honestly, I didn't like the answer and I still don't like it. Maybe, I am just not there yet, but I think if you are about to marry a person you better sure as hell know you're ready. Of course there willl always be some doubt, I recognize that, but you need to be sure.


Now, as a woman, you know I had to ask how he proposed. That is a huge thing! He confessed that he proposed as a joke in the drive thru of a fast food restaurant. I was in utter disbelief. A marriage proposal as a joke? Although a man may contemplate marrying the woman they are with, I think how you propose sets the tone for the type of marriage you want to lead. Sort of. It's not the end all be all, but it does speak volumes about you and your relationship. How you propose, the preparation you put into it, and when and how the proposal goes down are all important even though I know some men don't pay attention to these details.


I am happy for him! Marriage is a beautiful thing when God has ordained it. So, I pray that God blesses their marriage and I implore the soon-to-be married couple to approach marriage as an adventure to be enjoyed and not as hard work.



But, now I am left with fantasies and dreams of how I want my proposal to happen, where, when, and how I would want my wedding.



Then, I remember that as a Single Black Woman, I am taking my time as single to bask in the time I have to improve myself and attain a level of excellence and greatness as well as peace amongst many other things before I find the man with whom I can stand proudly beside and he proudly beside me as my equal.



"The Destination Is The Journey." - I look forward to this adventure of my own to discover love or allow love to discover me. For the first time, I feel apprehensive teased with excitement about my future love life.