Ain't No White Hoods No More..

As messed up as it is, the truth is something else.

I have a million and one things that I need to do & need to write, but this one is fresh on my mind so I will start here.


I just finished having a conversation with my grandmother about so many topics wrapped into one. From how Blacks in the South were treated back then, her memory of being called a "nigger" as a little girl, from factories in South Carolina now being replaced with work in jails and how education is the biggest threat to Black people "making it" nowadays.


When you sit back and really think about it, it rings a lot of truth. More prisons than schools are being built, Blacks & Latinos already dominate the prison population, the retention rates of Blacks in high school and college are lower than their white counterparts, and none of these topics are being taken serious by the masses. I wonder if its because it doesn't seem like a imminent threat like a white hooded figure with a burning torch riding a horse up to your house.

The system has changed and from the words of my grandmother "Black people are always behind in learning the rules of the game." From what we name our kids to the discipline we teach our kids to respect authority figures. I really understand where she is coming from and as I sat back and dove a little deeper, there is so much more that attacks us and we pay absolutely no attention to it. Rap lyrics that send the message to young men that women are supposed to hand you their virginity and convince young women if you don't give it up he won't like you. Subliminal messages that have grown women aspiring to superficial ideals of beauty that defines our very nature as women as having to have it together all the time from our hair, make up, nails, body, and clothes. Telling young men if you can hustle, education ain't really all that important.


It is definitely a wake up call to myself to remember that there is a bigger picture out there and it is not just about me. The crabs in a barrel mentality has to end some where because we continuous bring each other down and never once realize once we start helping each other the struggle may become easier.


Just one conversation from my grandmother and I feel a thrust to achieve a level of excellence, but also the burden of having to represent my race. Something that I do not believe any other culture has perpetually dealt with in America.


I'm still laughing, but with a little pain in my chest... that my application is probably sitting in somebody's pile to the side because of my name.

Your thoughts?

Feeling Inspired!

Been feeling a little inspired to just go for it lately! Was re-reading my old posts on one of my other blogs Muses to My Soul and came across one I wanted to share today. Enjoy!

"People often find it easier to be a result of the past than a cause of the future."

A Sixth Sense: Ex Radar

 I just love this!

I have been a little absent lately. Not just from blogging, but from everything in life to just take a breather and figure out where am I really going. To no avail, I'm still searching for that answer. In the meantime, I finally made a step towards one of my goals for 2011 which is to become physically fit.


As soon as I start moving, just moving, even though its the beginning, guess who comes back around. I feel as if any time I am in the process of making progress an ex comes knocking. And not just one either. It's like exes have a sixth sense.


First, an ex from a couple years back who told me the reason why we broke up was due to the fact that he wasn't comfortable falling in love. A few years removed from the relationship and hearing this same excuse multiple times already now I just quietly blink, nod to myself, and say ok. I mean what is there to say?! Then, one lovely morning or afternoon on facebook chat he decides to reveal that he still loves me and that is the reason why we can no longer be friends. This, of course, is followed by a 'delete' on facebook. I chuckled because little did he know I had been praying on what to do with him since I no longer needed his negativity in my life and lo' and behold he moved himself.

Then, last week after months that my facebook account had been deactivated, I receive a friend request. *bbm confused face*


Now the second ex... Again, oh dear facebook and that devil called 'mini feed'. I see my ex who was once upon a time my best friend (i.e., meaning it was easier attempting friendship years later than other exes) comments on a female ex-best friend's status. I'm thinking to myself, when did they become so friendly for him to comment on her wall. Then, the second thought comes around and I'm thinking you comment on her page, but haven't spoken to me in a month. Must be the ex-radar because I received a phone call last night.



Can ex's really be friends? At what point do you stop playing in the revolving door? How do you even break it down that you have no interest in playing a role in their life or them playing a role in your life at this point? Should you have to define your relationships with people? Why do people linger, popping in and out of your life?



Those are the questions that  I ponder right now and I am in no rush to answer them just yet, just like 'his' ignored friend request and 'his' unanswered phone call.


So... Do ex's really have a sixth sense? I know I am not the only person this happens to!


Feel free to share!

Any Good Black Men Left?

Fine Chocolate! Mr. Darren Sharper

It may be that I am just becoming more aware or it really is a new occurrence, but men seem to be immature in their early 20's. The focus is getting money, women, and grinding. I'm not going to stand in the way of a man bettering himself through education and grinding in his career, but with Black women outnumbering Black men... the mentality that men can have more than one woman and women should learn to accept it is inexcusable. But why can't you get another degree and move up the career latter with a woman by your side. (It is my dream to be a power couple with my significant other.)

I want to know who sets the standard of culture and expectations. Women are chasing men like weaves. So at what point will men not go after every woman he can sleep with and how long can a woman stand her ground in a man's life if another woman is standing by waiting and plotting on how to get close to his bed side.

It is too easy to ask are there any good Black men, but my question is are there any good Black men who are faithful, trustworthy, mature, focused, God-fearing, loyal, independent in all respects, and in their early 20's. I rather wait for an equal that attracts my interest than fall back into old habits of just keeping a man around because I rather not be lonely. Something about this time of waiting for Mr. Right that teaches you patience, strength, and provides ample time for introspection.


Content with the journey... after all the journey is the destination.

Facebook: The Death of Civilization

Uncle Sam wants you! Yes, you!

A couple of months back I deleted my Facebook account. I became fed up with the antics that continued to appear on my news feed and the false sense of "friend"-ship that people assumed. I recently reactivated my account.. Who knows how long it will remain activated. I guess until the next "I just got laid/smoking a J" or "My baby daddy ain't ish" status appears, I'll stay on. Let's begin...


On my way to work this morning, I was listening to 93.9 discussing how people behave on Facebook. Oh the ignorance that ensued. 


Parents and adults called in stating that Facebook should have a age limit. Then, someone suggested that the government should monitor teen's facebook pages for language that could provoke violence.


All I could think was: Are you freaking kidding me!


Even if there was an age limit, kids would lie to get on just like I did when I was young to create a blackplanet page or a myspace. I remember when Facebook was just for college students and then a separate section just for high school students. There wasn't as many issues as there are now on Facebook since it has opened to the general masses.


And why in the world does the government need to monitor your child's behavior??? I believe parents fail to uphold their responsibility as guardians over their children. A parent saying they can't control their child is a parent that maybe should not have had a child. Monitoring your child's behavior on Facebook is not the responsibility of the government or Facebook. Teach our youth how to conduct themselves on social networking sites and then we would be better off.



Then again, the kids have to have an example. I honestly see more adults acting reckless and childish on Facebook than I see teenagers. So, who are they supposed to follow?


I mean adults are killing each other over $20. (If you haven't heard the NY news story, Click here!) Times are getting crazy and Facebook is becoming the death of people acting civilized.


Somehow people take the comfort of being behind their Internet screen forgranted believing that the Internet is safe a space to attack people, create drama, and be a Internet thug. Not every person is equipped with the skills to maturely, logically, and rationally respond to such immature nonsense.


I don't know what the solution is just yet, but I know that Facebook is not the problem. It is the people who use Facebook to devise evil and wicked plans.



What's your take?

Looking for Mr. Right (Now?)

Not sure about all of that..

The funny thing about being single is that at some point you start thinking about when you will no longer be single.


Lately I find my mind engrossed with thoughts of finding Mr. Right or at least Mr. Right Now. I think I have been single for about 5-7 years now. Which really means I have not had an adult relationship. At 22, I know I'm still young, but for some strange reason 23 seems like the age of blissful love affairs and romantic evenings under the stars.


The craziest part about expecting love is seeing male friends or strangers and wondering "Is he it?"


I'm not crazy!! but I am in love with the idea of being in love. The idea of love. The love you see in movies that reality seems to distance itself far away from. Love that is romantic, sweet, adventurous, loyal, faithful, and amazing. What can I say!? I'm an idealist!


I guess I should take the advice of Vivica Foxx from my favorite movie Two Can Play That Game and, "occupy my damn time."


Life is such... well I really don't know yet! Still amazing in my eyes with a bit of bumps and bruises along with old scars.


To be continued... hopefully something will pop up. I just want a little spice added to my love life.


~ A Beautifully Crafted Mind

A New Beginning!

I originally started this blog as a medium to express myself and do so without scrutiny or anyone knowing who I am.

At this very moment, I feel empowered not to hide behind a pseudonym for my freedom of expression.

Lately, I felt as if my blog has become a pulpit for every issue I wanted to address including my lack of a so-called love life. I guess on March 1, 2011 I'm starting a revolution for myself, to be a little open to the world and show a little more than I would be comfortable with.


This is the last post for the moment under Diary of a Single Black Woman...

And no, I'm still single lol Still looking for Mr. Right, but Single Black Woman just doesn't seem to give justice to the complex simplicity of my soul, heart, and mind.

Under Transition to the next chapter! Salud!

Happy Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day!

This time last year was the first Valentine's Day in a long time that I was content with being single. Seeing love in the air and flaunted around me didn't make me depressed or sad like back in high school where moms came home and found me in the dark listening to "I am ready for love" by India Arie. I can laugh now at that, but back then I really wanted to love someone and feel love. I still do, but have the better judgement to wait for someone who is worth it rather than the next guy that comes my way.


So, how as a single woman for the last 5 years have I refrained from becoming bitter on this day? I remember that love is not limited to a relationship. This day is not just a day for non-platonic lovers, but one for everyone to show how much they love the people in their life. A celebration of love.


It is easier said than done, but over the years I can now look at a couple on this day kiss, and smile. Knowing that even if it is just this day, there are people who are being loved.


The only thing that unnerves me is that there are people who limit their love to just this day as if love only needs to be displayed once a year. Love is to be done, shown, and acted upon every single day.


Happy Valentine's Day to all the lovers and all of the single women and men in the world. Know that someone loves you and never stop believing that love exists. Sometimes you have to create it for yourself the type of love that you seek to find. Start with yourself today and every day forth to cultivate love for yourself and you will begin to attract the love of others around you.


At the end of the day, I won't lie that Valentine's Day has just become another day on the calendar. After 5 years, it's just Monday, February 14, 2011.


xoxo

You are WHAT??? Getting Married??

Yesterday, I received a phone call from a old friend whom I haven't spoken with in months. After about 5 minutes of the usual "How have you been?" and "What have you been up to?" he informs me that he is getting married. I was slightly stunned. I am fairly young and he is only three years older than I, but I was interested in knowing how did he know she was the one and all the specifics.


So, I asked the major question I would ask any of my friends, "Are you ready?"


Marriage is a big commitment and it is one that should not be taken lightly. I do not believe in divorce. In our day and age, divorce may be common practice as the plan B if this marriage thing doesn't work out or you ate my last piece of pie (I kid), but that doesn't mean it's right. If divorce was not an option, I think people would really sit down and thing long about whether or not they are ready to spend the rest of their life with this one person, with their baggage, with their financial health, with everything. You don't just take on a person, you take on everything that comes with that person. What was once just yours in no longer yours, but ours.


He answered, "I am as ready as I'll ever be."


Honestly, I didn't like the answer and I still don't like it. Maybe, I am just not there yet, but I think if you are about to marry a person you better sure as hell know you're ready. Of course there willl always be some doubt, I recognize that, but you need to be sure.


Now, as a woman, you know I had to ask how he proposed. That is a huge thing! He confessed that he proposed as a joke in the drive thru of a fast food restaurant. I was in utter disbelief. A marriage proposal as a joke? Although a man may contemplate marrying the woman they are with, I think how you propose sets the tone for the type of marriage you want to lead. Sort of. It's not the end all be all, but it does speak volumes about you and your relationship. How you propose, the preparation you put into it, and when and how the proposal goes down are all important even though I know some men don't pay attention to these details.


I am happy for him! Marriage is a beautiful thing when God has ordained it. So, I pray that God blesses their marriage and I implore the soon-to-be married couple to approach marriage as an adventure to be enjoyed and not as hard work.



But, now I am left with fantasies and dreams of how I want my proposal to happen, where, when, and how I would want my wedding.



Then, I remember that as a Single Black Woman, I am taking my time as single to bask in the time I have to improve myself and attain a level of excellence and greatness as well as peace amongst many other things before I find the man with whom I can stand proudly beside and he proudly beside me as my equal.



"The Destination Is The Journey." - I look forward to this adventure of my own to discover love or allow love to discover me. For the first time, I feel apprehensive teased with excitement about my future love life.

Bad Girls Club: These Girls Are Insane

Welcome to the Bad Girls Club!

So, during my break from studying, I decided to watch some television and came across Bad Girls Club. The only reason I know this show exists, is purely from Twitter. I gave the show a chance and ended up doing more screaming at them and shaking my head than I have done in a long time.


This episode was the one where Char went head to head with Nikki and threw her belongings off the balcony and into the pool and yard and the new girl Ashley arrived. Char is a character alright!


I just could not understand her logic on this episode and she seemed delusional and psycho with the monkeys following right behind her and agreeing with everything she said or decided.


Char prided herself on being the oldest of them all, yet acted like an irrational middle school girl attacking someone physically and bullying Nikki because you don't like her. Are you sure you're not 12?


Then Ashley and her friends! What was the point of your girlfriends starting drama in the house that you have to live in and they will leave. Look at the bigger picture and forsee the consequences of your and your company's actions. Ridiculous!


This show is called Bad Girls Club for a reason. They are Bad. Bad at being grown, mature women! All this drama for what? Can your life really be that boring that you need to stir up trouble?



Then, that makes me think of women in the real world who thrive on drama. Always have gossip flowing from their lips and need some type of drama to feel important. I stopped all that mess when I left 8th grade.


Ladies and gentleman, drama is not cute nor is it suitable for any self-respecting grown mature adult. Anyone over the age of 21 is too old to still resolve conflicts with the emotional and intellectual capacity of a middle-schooler. Drama is for tv and not real life. Ideal, yes. Practical, depends on the person.


Sincerely,


Drama free for 8+ years.

New Updates On Cancer From John Hopkins (Must Read)

"My people perish for a lack of knowledge." Hosea 4:6

John Hopkins Publishes Article on Cancer (A Must Read)

AFTER YEARS OF TELLING PEOPLE CHEMOTHERAPY
IS THE ONLY WAY TO TRY ('TRY', BEING THE KEY WORD) TO ELIMINATE CANCER, JOHNS HOPKINS IS FINALLY STARTING TO TELL YOU THERE IS AN ALTERNATIVE WAY .


Cancer Update from Johns Hopkins :

1. Every person has cancer cells in the body. These cancer
  cells do not show up in the standard tests until they have
  multiplied to a few billion. When doctors tell cancer patients
  that there are no more cancer cells in their bodies after
  treatment, it just means the tests are unable to detect the
  cancer cells because they have not reached the detectable
  size.

2. Cancer cells occur between 6 to more than 10 times in a
  person's lifetime.

3. When the person's immune system is strong the cancer
  cells will be destroyed and prevented from multiplying and
  forming tumors.


4. When a person has cancer it indicates the person has
  nutritional deficiencies. These could be due to genetic,
  to environmental, food and lifestyle factors.

5. To overcome the multiple nutritional deficiencies, changing
   diet and including supplements will strengthen the immune
   system.

6. Chemotherapy involves poisoning the rapidly-growing
  cancer cells and also destroys rapidly-growing healthy cells
  in the bone marrow, gastrointestinal tract etc, and can
  cause organ damage, like liver, kidneys, heart, lungs etc.

7. Radiation while destroying cancer cells also burns, scars
  and damages healthy cells, tissues and organs.

8. Initial treatment
 with chemotherapy and radiation will often
  reduce tumor size. However prolonged use of
  chemotherapy and radiation do not result in more tumor
  destruction.

9. When the body has too much toxic burden from
  chemotherapy and radiation the immune system is either
  compromised or destroyed, hence the person can succumb
  to various kinds of infections and complications.

10. Chemotherapy and radiation can cause cancer cells to
    mutate and become resistant and difficult to destroy.
    Surgery can also cause cancer cells to spread to other
    sites.

11. An effective way to battle cancer is to starve the cancer
    cells by not feeding it with the foods it needs to multiply.

*CANCER CELLS FEED ON:

a. Sugar is a
 cancer-feeder. By cutting off sugar it cuts off
  one important food supply to the cancer cells. Sugar
  substitutes like NutraSweet, Equal, Spoonful, etc are made
  with Aspartame and it is harmful. A better natural substitute
   would be Manuka honey (a New Zealand Honey - can be found at some health food stores or online {Amazon.com}) or molasses, but only in very small
   amounts. Table salt has a chemical added to make it white in
  color Better alternative is Bragg's aminos or sea salt.

b. Milk causes the body to produce mucus, especially in the
  gastro-intestinal tract. Cancer feeds on mucus. By cutting
  off milk and
 substituting with unsweetened soy milk cancer
  cells are being starved.

c. Cancer cells thrive in an acid environment. A meat-based
  diet is acidic and it is best to eat fish, and a little chicken
  rather than beef or pork. Meat also contains livestock
  antibiotics, growth hormones and parasites, which are all
  harmful, especially to people with cancer..

d. A diet made of 80% fresh vegetables and juice, whole
  grains, seeds, nuts and a little fruits help put the body into
  an alkaline environment. About 20% can be from cooked
  food including beans. Fresh vegetable juices provide live
  enzymes that are easily absorbed and reach down to
  cellular levels within 15 minutes to nourish and enhance
  growth of healthy
 cells.. To obtain live enzymes for building
  healthy cells try and drink fresh vegetable juice (most
  vegetables including bean sprouts) and eat some raw
  vegetables 2 or 3 times a day. Enzymes are destroyed at
  temperatures of 104 degrees F (40 degrees C).

e. Avoid coffee, tea, and chocolate, which have high
  caffeine Green tea is a better alternative and has cancer
  fighting properties. Water-best to drink purified water, or
  filtered, to avoid known toxins and heavy metals in tap
  water. Distilled water is acidic, avoid it.

12. Meat protein is difficult to digest and requires a lot of
    digestive enzymes. Undigested meat remaining in the
    intestines becomes putrefied and leads to more toxic

 buildup.

13. Cancer cell walls have a tough protein covering. By
    refraining from or eating less meat it frees more enzymes
    to attack the protein walls of cancer cells and allows the
    body's killer cells to destroy the cancer cells.

14. Some supplements build up the immune system
    (IP6, Flor-ssence, Essiac, anti-oxidants, vitamins, minerals,
    EFAs etc.) to enable the bodies own killer cells to destroy
    cancer cells.  Other supplements like vitamin E are known
    to cause apoptosis, or programmed cell death, the body's
    normal method of disposing of damaged, unwanted, or
    unneeded cells.

15. Cancer is a
 disease of the mind, body, and spirit.
    A proactive and positive spirit will help the cancer warrior
   be a survivor. Anger, un-forgiveness and bitterness put
   the body into a stressful and acidic environment. Learn to
   have a loving and forgiving spirit. Learn to relax and enjoy
   life.

16. Cancer cells cannot thrive in an oxygenated
    environment. Exercising daily, and deep breathing help to
    get more oxygen down to the cellular level. Oxygen
    therapy is another means employed to destroy cancer
    cells.

1. No plastic containers in microwave.

2. No water bottles in freezer.

3. No plastic wrap in microwave.

Johns Hopkins has recently
 sent this out in its newsletters. This information is being circulated at Walter Reed Army Medical Center as well. Dioxin chemicals cause cancer, especially breast cancer. Dioxins are highly poisonous to the cells of our bodies. Don't freeze your plastic bottles with water in them as this releases dioxins from the plastic. Recently, Dr Edward Fujimoto, Wellness Program Manager at Castle Hospital , was on a TV program to explain this health hazard. He talked about dioxins and how bad they are for us. He said that we should not be heating our food in the microwave using plastic containers. This especially applies to foods that contain fat. He said that the combination of fat, high heat, and plastics releases dioxin into the food and ultimately into the cells of the body. Instead, he recommends using glass, such as Corning Ware, Pyrex or ceramic containers for heating food. You get the same results, only without the dioxin. So such things as
 TV dinners, instant ramen and soups, etc., should be removed from the container and heated in something else. Paper isn't bad but you don't know what is in the paper. It's just safer to use tempered glass, Corning Ware, etc. He reminded us that a while ago some of the fast food restaurants moved away from the foam containers to paper.  The dioxin problem is one of the reasons.

Also, he pointed out that plastic wrap, such as Saran, is just as dangerous when placed over foods to be cooked in the microwave.  As the food is nuked, the high heat causes poisonous toxins to actually melt out of the plastic wrap and drip into the food. Cover food with a paper towel instead.

This is an article that should be forwarded to anyone important in your life.

Fear of Love

I find myself wanting a new relationship, yet fearing that I am not ready for one. That my heart is not yet strong enough to handle the potential heartbreak that may ensue or disappointment that this one is not the one again.


I don't think there are any set criteria of what makes a woman attractive to a man or attracts the one she is to be with forever. Some women think if they lose this amount of weight or wear this type of style that men will seek them more and more. But what type of men are we really attracting?

I know I am not attracting any right now for the very purpose stated above. I made it a point not to stand out too much with my clothing, hair style, or etc. for the simple fact that I do not want to attract attention from any man. Not right now! I feel like my life is going in so many different directions that for a relationship to take place, that would just add fuel to the huge forest fire spreading called my life.


I wonder how many women do the very same thing of making themselves not look less attractive, but making sure they don't stand out more as to not draw the opposite sex's attention.


But don't get me wrong! I can not tell you how many times men have hollered at me when I thought I look busted! Scarf on my head (I was headed to the braiding salon) or clothes were raggedy (just ran to the store), but when I actually dressed up and was on my 'A'-game... Nothing!


Either self-esteem is way down, confidence is poor, or they are just stereotyping certain looks of women as easy or needs more work put in. I'm not going to lie, I don't even acknowledge men who holler at me because as a lady you only holler at little kids and dogs.


That's neither here nor there. I am apprehensive about finding true love. About an endearing, loving, and amazing man finding me. The fear of screwing up what could be a great relationship turned marriage. Oh man! I say, not right now, but soon. It is a fear I look forward to conquering head on, because I can only ask myself one question: What is the worse that can happen?

You Won't Help Me, But You Want My Help??? Come Again!?

Whatever happened to the good ole days when people actually helped other people?!! Is it just me or does everyone have a "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" mentality. Everyone wants help, but no one willing to give help.


This is one of those things that I keep running into time and time again. There are still a very few that are willing to help their fellow sisters and brothers, then there are the one's who will help you, but make sure you realize how much of a burden it is that they are helping you. I am really baffled by this phenomena.


Everyone expects you to make it, but no one will lend a helping hand. It is almost as if you have to create your own success story. When you create it the very people who wouldn't help you or felt burdened by doing so will be the same ones trying to be in the lime light sharing center stage with you. This is a crazy!! I can't pretend like I have not been in one of these categories before, but let me preface that by saying there is a difference between people who want you to do everything for them and people who genuinely need a little help so that they can do for themselves.


I fall in the category of people who genuinely need help. Yet, everywhere I turn it seems to come from the people I least expect it. The one's I do expect help from, my family and close friends, seem caught up in their own world and too busy to assist. Guarantee you, when I get that law degree people are going to want free legal counsel. *Le sigh*


What happened to the barter system in the Black community?! You do a service for me, I do a service for you. Now, it's all about money and every one is trying to get paid. Little do these people know you can't take money to the grave and you make more friends and money by offering services for free than you do charging ridiculous amounts of money in a recession!



I'm one of those women who plan to earn my first million by 30, but not at the expense of ripping my people off. I rather not sale my soul to gain the riches of the world.


I wonder where those few men and women, regardless of race, that believe in this barter system. That believe in collective service sharing and building businesses together. IF you are one of those people, let me know. It's time to start a revolution and only those who believe in communal success need to put on their boots and prepare to take over the world.


We need to go back to the day where people knew how to get by on a little to gain a lot. Somehow the mentality of young professionals are so corrupt by the fallacy of riches in today's society that most of them will end up poor. Poor in their pocket, soul, heart, or mind. The definition of community is dwindling and we need to save it if we are to prosper and improve the lives of those closest to us.


I know I'm ready to build an empire. The question is: Are you?

My Princess Boy: Let Your Son Wear A Dress If He Wants Too! Why Not???

 Every woman has thought about her future, whether she wants kids, and how she would want to raise her kids. The thing is, usually we don't take into account that we cannot control who are kids will be, their personality, or whether they will be nerdy or the so called "cool" kid.

This morning I was listening to Russ Par Morning Show on 93.9 and they were interviewing the mother and author of "My Princess Boy," Cheryl Kilodavis. I hope that was it if not then its another woman.


While they were interviewing her on the reasons she allowed to let her son dress up and play with traditionally girl clothing and toys, you could hear the attitudes, judgements, and ignorance in their voice.

As a 1 year psych major, (sorry I couldn't hack it) I learned that behavior is learned. We believe what we believe through socialization and societal norms reinforce those beliefs. With that said, it troubled me when their explanation for why she should not let her child play dress up with traditionally girl clothing was he was not supposed to, he is a boy.


Knowledge is power. The lack of it is the reason people get stuck in the myopic state, participate in group think, and say ignorant comments like that which fails to provide a real reason.



I hope that the knowledge I'm about to share is the same knowledge along with the attitude I have that will stay with me if my son one day once to rock mommy's 4 inch fierce stilettos. At least I know he'll be fly.


Back to the point: As children, they do not know that girls play with these toys and boys play with other toys. They don't know the difference between gender until they observe that girls don't have the same equipment as boys. Now, their curiosity is peaked. Questions begin flying. Children are a blank slate. However, when we push our societal norms and values on to them we shape them.



I remember last Thanksgiving, I was at my best friend's family house and her cousin's son was playing with his cousin's barbie doll. Mind you he has two older girl cousins (both 6 at the time) who were playing with the dolls and he's 2. He wanted to play with them. His mother came over and grabbed the doll out his hand and was upset telling us her son won't be playing with no dolls, keep that out of his hands.




I was shocked and saddened by the lack of knowledge of the fact that kids don't think too much about the gender of a doll. Kids think simple. This is a toy. Period. Also, sexual orientation is determined at a early age. So just because your son likes to play with dolls and wear make up and you think you can change that, chances are if you forbid him from engaging in his natural inclination to those objects you will cause him to repress his desires and they will manifest in another way. Probably more dangerous and harmful this time.



The whole notion of a man or child wearing a dress baffled almost every caller and the radio hosts. How fast do we forget that in the past men wore clothing that resembled dresses. In Ireland, men wear kilts some time.

Clothing does not determine our sexual orientation nor do our hobbies and what we like define who we are. When I wonder what is wrong with today's youth and the world, I realize people lack knowledge and parents/adults tend to pass along their resentment, bitterness, and negative views of the world onto their kids.




Kids are innocent. Let them stay that way. Or our future will look dimmer and dimmer. I think about this now as I think about how I want to raise my kids and how I would do it differently or the same as my mom, grandmother, and so forth. Let's do better. As a single woman, I weigh the mindsets of potential partners in my decision to date them heavily. Myopic men get the "kick rocks" from me. No shame in it all at either!



"My people perish from a lack of knowledge." - Hosea 4:6

WTH! He's STILL A Married Man!

Today in the office, a co-worker was sharing celebrity gossip and she made the statement that the guy Fantasia was dating or talking to was not bad looking.

I wouldn't be me of course if I didn't make a statement about the situation rather than just keeping it on the surface. With that said, let's dive in, shall we.


I cannot really understand why Paula Cook would lie about the separation between her and her husband. Now, my spidey senses start tingling because was it that she thought that their separation was over with her husband and that they were on the road to fixing their marriage OR was she hurt and bitter about his relationship with another woman that she wanted Fantasia to feel her pain. You know how they say, "hurt people hurt people," "misery loves company," and "the best way to hurt someone is to hit them where it hurts, in their pockets."


We may never know the truth behind the matter, but in the courtroom the judge handed down that what Mrs. Cook stated about the separation, "That was a lie." (In my Maury voice).



I'm not up to date with the whole scenario, but I pray Paula Cook does not pursue further action on Fantasia. Especially if its all about the money. The world knows you're hurt. Any woman would be, but to attempt to seek your own revenge is pointless and will not ease the pain felt by finding out your husband is with another woman.



I'm a paranoid person, so my next thought, well prior to our office discussion, was that they were acting together to get Fantasia's money. Again, I pray that is not a evil plot in play.




At the end of the day, Separation is still MARRIED! Forget how we like to spin it or what not, but he was still a married man. While we could pass judgement on Fantasia for lying that she even knew the man (which seems like a sign she knew her actions weren't right) and still engaging in a relationship with a married separated man, the truth of the matter is we all make mistakes. Our mistakes however are not revealed on such a bigger platform as celebrities. So, don't throw the first stone.




Real life example of this quote: "A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is still putting on its shoes." - Mark Twain


I will admit that I am just upset that she tattooed his freaking name on her! Come on Fanny!


Anywho, Let's stop spreading lies and half-truths like wild fire and let's spread the truth instead. Also, before you believe the stories everyone is spreading, let's check their sources and do our own research. I fall victim to this too, but as I try to do better I encourage you to do the same.

Journey of Life

Have you ever sat back and wondered what was the point of school? Now, I'm not talking math or reading, but what was the point of history, science (if you don't plan or already have a career in the field)? Most of what I was taught, I didn't learn. I can barely remember basic math in my head and usually opt for a calculator. I know, sad.


With that said, why didn't we learn taxes, financial planning, real life application to interest rates, and why didn't we learn why some of the things we were learning were going to be important? I'm sure we still wouldn't have listened if they told us, but I really wish I payed attention in English class when we learned new vocabulary words or in chemistry.

My vocabulary would be a beast right now and I would know what acid could help me break into a cheating boyfriend's apartment. Knowledge is powerful! With my mind, it would be very dangerous. I really do mean dangerous. I would love to learn to pick locks and disarm an alarm system as well break into a home. Just to say I know how, but not use it for evil. I digress.


I wish there was a askGod.com site that you could ask what is my purpose? What should my major be? Is he cheating? Should I apply for this job? Where should I go to school? What color should I dye my hair? Will my kids be decent or gorgeous? When will I get married? and actually get the answer.


I know it's not meant to be simple, but when you want and are looking for answers... It ain't so simply and you want it to be.



I might just pray for a askGod.com, but I think God knows we would just think a human was operating the system. Might destroy all of our lives. Until then, I'll keep wandering around until I find my next path. Hope too much time doesn't pass before then though. No one wants to be the One at the class reunion who didn't do much with their life in the last 5 to 10 years.